I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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