yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
