Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
