In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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