I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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