Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Soap is not a condiment
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
