I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
How's work?
Spinning.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
