I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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