his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
