why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Then you guys just all showered together...?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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