No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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