did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Randomize
