I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize