Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Sorry about my life...
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
