Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize