I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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