my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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