i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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