oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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