I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
