She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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