I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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