My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Naked Twister starts at high noon
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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