The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
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I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
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I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
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