you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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