In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She even gives head with a lisp.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
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