I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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