I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
