I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
