The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
