im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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