so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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