I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
