you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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