All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I feel like abortions should bother me more
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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