I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
