Do vagina's smell?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
