its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
