OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
