Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
