New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize