I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
