Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize