I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize