Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize