I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
