My underwear smells like fireworks.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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