nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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