at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
