I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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