I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
of course. lets lasso hookers.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
