Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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