im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
They have beer where we have blood.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
