Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
