she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
