I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
My ass is underappreciated
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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