we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
