..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I just gift wrapped bread.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Even my vagina gasped.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
