he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
