the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize