see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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