shes about as inviting as chlamydia
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize