I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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