whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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