just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.